Gross Out

Yesterday I woke up in a really, really good mood. I thought, FINALLY! I was feeling so great that nothing was going to get me down, and it’s a good thing too because oh my goodness yesterday was a total GROSS OUT.

One of the daycare kids had this terrible diaper and it made my whole house smell like a horse barn. What does a baby even eat that would smell like that??? It was sick, I had to open all the doors and windows to air the place out.

My bathroom sink had been draining really slowly and although I’d tried everything to try and clear it nothing had worked, so yesterday I very very bravely took a straightened out paperclip (hooked on one end) and just pulled out all the stuff clogging the sink. It was so sick, I couldn’t even look what I was doing or I’d start gagging. It’s draining much better so it was obviously worth it, I just hope everyone else who lives here appreciates my sacrifice.

After work I walked my dog, and when we got back to the house I let him off his leash in the yard to try and get him to chase Symphony. Instead he bolted towards this scraggly flower bed next to the gate and started eating what turned out to be poop! The worst part it I don’t even know what it’s from- it was too big to belong to any of the neighbor dogs and I never let my dog do his business in the yard. He was eating MYSTERY POO OF UNKNOWN ORIGIN.

This is less gross and more traumatic, but last night for dinner we went for Japanese and in a fit of spasticity I dumped an entire bowl of scalding hot miso soup on my lap. I mean, SCALDING HOT. Plus, once all the liquid part of miso soup soaks into your jeans, what’s left looks less than appetizing. I had to get a damp cloth from the waitress and scrub my thighs clean and when we went home my jeans were all cold and wet and clammy. Not my finest moment, but I laughed my face off about it. I think Symphony was pretty pleased- a couple years ago in that same restaurant she knocked over a pint mug of ginger ale all over me, and every time we go back I remind her “Don’t spill your ginger ale on me!” but now, I’ll have to remind myself “Don’t pour miso soup on your lap!”

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2 responses to “Gross Out

  1. This is hilarious, I couldn’t help but giggle. Every single thing that you wrote reminds me of something that happened to me, or something I would do. Loved this entry :)

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